Isolation is the act of isolating something; setting something apart from others. This is definitely very traumatic and stressful for a child. My best friend adopted two girls when the girls where 10months and 5years old, however, the children have grown to be 10 and 15 years old now. The 15 year old, who I will call Jane has recently suffered from isolation at school from peers and other students. Jane is a very sweet and caring young lady that just hasn’t blossomed into a flirtatious teenage girl who isn’t chasing boys, who someone might refer to her as a “tomboy”. She has a father who is very involved in her life where he takes her fishing, hunting and four wheel riding, so she isn’t the prissy type at all. However, a group of students at school has started a rumor that she is gay and has isolated her completely. As she would walk down the halls of her high school she would be called names and teased. This has been going since the beginning of school which was August. However, he has gradually gotten worse and it was affecting Jane’s academic status. Her mother would call me often and she would be in tears because her daughter was suffering and there was nothing she could do but pray. It had even gotten so bad that the mother had to take Jane to counseling three times a month which was very costly. As the problem continued the principal called my friends and asked her a personal question, “Can you explain Jane and Judy’s relationship?” In other words the principal was insinuating that her daughter was gay and was bringing all of this on herself. Well in my opinion it doesn’t matter if she was gay, that doesn’t give the right to condone other children being mean to others and isolating them. So this was the “straw that broke the camel’s back” and the mother withdrew her from school and put her in the school system I currently work in. This took place last Monday, so Jane has completed two full weeks at her school and has been so happy since her move. Her mother states that Jane comes home happy everyday and talks about how friendly her classmates are. It’s so amazing how her own well being has changed since she has been removed from the environment of isolation.
Being in this situation affected this child’s entire well being from her biosocial, cognitive and psychosocial development. She was in an environment where she wasn’t happy and it was affecting her cognitive development and academic status. She was also detrimental to her social development and self esteem
Betty,
ReplyDeleteBerger,(2009) reminds us of the fact that the theory of attachment and the modern view of the nature versus nurture debate emphasise the importance of a stable, stimulating home environment for the normal development of children. This therefore suggests that a child subjected to a severely negative, hostile or unstimulating environment for prolonged periods of time where normal attachment is not cultivated may be severely impaired. However,
with an appropriate familial environment and support, from professionals, adults, parents, and teachers much of the negative developmental deficits can be recovered.
I am glad you shared this story with us. The notion of name calling and isolating children has become a very big issue as of late--experts are calling it bullying and sadly I see it too in my school age program. I find that often times those children who are doing the bullying are the ones who on some level do not realize what they are doing nor do they realize the severity of their actions. They are victims of something as well and have not learned, nor have been taught to seek appropriate outlets for their own pain and suffering. I have a first grader who wants to bolt and run away who hits others, curses and the other day spit in a little girl's face. When I speak to his mom, I get a nod, and a blank look. All I can do is keep trying to work with him and perhaps find him resources through his school.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this. I too experienced similar taunting in school, not because of my orientation but because I dressed differently and kept too myself. Children are mean and do not fully understand that while it is funny to them it hurts another childs feelings. It wasn't until I started my career was I able to put some things in perspective. The same kids that picked on me through out elementary all the way to high school were the ones that had the biggest family problems and some turned to be my clients when I worked as a case worker in drug and alcohol treatment. I began to realize that it wasn't me that was the problem, they were lashing out because of their home environment which was affecting their socialization amongst other people. I hope that my children do not have to deal with the taunting as my oldest gets teased because of his speech. He laughs it off while I find myself getting upset. Isolating and bullying children has to stop and I can only continue to influence my children to accept all children regardless of their differences.
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